I am a keeper of sacred fire, passion concentrate
It burns, EVEN me, until it burns itself out.
And then, there is darkness, cold, devastating winds piercing delicate pink flesh,
naked before the coming storm and there is no one to huddle to close to.
The wolves of night begin to howl for me, for my blood slowly curdling.
And It is fucking terrifying.
Empty and desolate, I wander a barren landscape without provision upon clay legs,
They fail me as I sink, under the weight of my own weather.
I have been taught to medicate this burden.
Put out the flames . Warm not the coals.
Assume a more neutral temperature.
Swallow your pills and Become tepid.
Walk among the masses. Join the automatic existence.
On days when you are hollowed out by darkness, rise from your bed a shadow,
Pull on the skin of a woman,an artiface, to blend with the crowd.
And I begin to question. If I throw out these pills to control my unruly nature
will I begin to grow wild and free, or simply lose my grip on reality?
Paxil You replaced Orgasms with Ordinary
Effexor I stopped hearing the song of creation
Wellbutrin I wrote poems without power
On Prozac I wrote nothing at all
Celexa My lovers body ceased to make me weep with its perfection.
Zoloft Tasting the honey between a womans legs no longer felt like receiveing a blessed sacrament.
Fury has done me more good than psychiatric medications every could.
I am more healed by crimson fucking nail polish than by dr’s and pills,
convinced I need to cured of these ills.
Don’t call me disordered.
I will take my torture, and bring forth life.
Dance with the shadow, make love to the madwoman.
Call the ravens. Gather the bones.
Howling, crying,screaming, drowning,
This is the cost of your truth.
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